Fairness

I was just sitting by a pool in a hotel observing a group of girl scouts swimming. There are about 10-12 of them and one mermaid tail. The leader is trying desperately to teach the concepts of sharing. Fairness is the key for all of them. If one gets the tail for 2 minutes, then it is my turn for two minutes, then the next girl. It is all good when things are fair. But if one girl gets longer or another girl misses her turn, then injustice is screaming for a wrong to be righted. Because we think everything should be fair.

Why is fairness so important? Not just for girl scouts but for all of us. Just about every day I hear concepts around fairness. Whether it is sports, activities, family, abilities, time, connection. We all want things to be equal and fair. But guess what? Things are not fair. I have blessings in my life that other people don’t have. Other people have blessings that I don’t have. Some people have more money than others. Some people have stronger relationships than others. Some people are taller, funnier, more athletic, more musical, more intelligent. Some people are creative, joyful, inventive, and content. 

Here is the deal God did not create us to be robots. He individually and creatively knit each of us together in our mother’s womb. (Psalm 139:13) We are all different, with different strengths and giftings, struggles and deficits. We are unique and because we are things are not fair. 

Fairness is not a biblical concept, it is an American one. We want everything to be fair and equitable in America. From education, to sports, to looks, to advantages, we want the best for our kids. We don’t like suffering or pain. We don’t like not making the team, being cut or sacrificing. We want things easy. We want things our way. When we see unfairness we want to step in and make the corrections. But just like the girls in the swimming pool.  Some kids care more about the mermaid tail than others. One may want the tail because they are selfish and just want it so that someone else doesn’t have it.  Some children may be more generous and kind and choose to give up their turn. Some may swim better than others with the tail. And some may not fit into the tail. It isn’t fair. It isn’t going to be fair.

When people tell me something that happened to them or their kids wasn’t fair, I simply agree. Yes, that isn’t fair. Then I just let them sit with that. Yes, it isn’t fair that your kid didn’t make the team. Yes it isn’t fair that they are being picked on at school. Yes, it isn’t fair that someone less qualified got the job you applied for multiple times. Yes, it isn’t fair that that person is married or that person has the perfect children. Yes, it isn’t fair that you have a disability. Yes it isn’t fair that you lost a child. Yes, it isn’t fair that you have cancer. 

It isn’t fair.

Life is not fair. It never will be. 

It also isn’t fair that Noah and his family were safe on the ark and everyone else died. 

It isn’t fair that Daniel was saved in the Lions den. 

It isn’t fair that God saved the people of Nineveh and Jonah was mad about it.

It isn’t fair that Abraham was God’s chosen person to begin God’s chosen people.

It isn’t fair that Ruth was faithful and redeemed even though she was a foreigner. 

It wasn’t fair that Samson was tricked and manipulated to give up his strength and then it wasn’t fair that God gave him that strength back to punish a people group.

It wasn’t fair that Elisha never died and was taken to heaven.

It isn’t fair that Hosea married a prostitute that continued to reject and commit adultery against him.

It isn’t fair that Jesus suffered and died for my sin. It isn’t fair that I get the free gift of salvation because of his sacrifice.

Grace and mercy are not fair.

Yes there are a lot of unfair things in our world. I am so thankful that God is not fair, but wise and discerning. There is not a biblical example of fairness in the bible. I challenge you to look - I haven’t yet found one. God’s goal is not fairness, it is relationship. He wants you to trust him. He wants you to trust that when things feel unfair he is working. He wants you to trust that he is good no matter what the circumstances. He wants you to trust that you are loved. I am so thankful that I am not getting what I deserve. I am thankful for forgiveness, for grace. I am thankful that God is a just God who is good at all times and in all circumstances.